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Suspected Vampirism Disproven - Ercassesanwi
September 17th, 2007
02:24 pm


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Suspected Vampirism Disproven
So Friday I met a very intelligent, attractive man who gazed into my eyes for a half-hour and asked me to meet him again in a few days. Of course, I probably shouldn't read too much into the affair, since he is my ophthalmologist.

It seems I am not becoming a vampire. Rather, my new contact lenses have caused an infection in my cornea, one that should easily clear up. To diagnose the infection, this hunky ophthalmologist put yellow dye on my eyes. I then drove by my old college hoping to run across some former professors with whom to discuss my grad-school plans. It turns out they were in a faculty meeting, so I didn't get the chance to give any of them a creepy yellow-eyed stare and threaten them with the possibility of joining the ranks of the undead.

So maybe I'll just return that waterbed-coffin combo. Such a shame.

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(4 comments | Leave a comment)

Date:September 17th, 2007 06:49 pm (UTC)
Well I'm glad you're not one of the restless damned.
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Date:September 18th, 2007 12:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you, anonymous responder.
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Date:September 17th, 2007 10:16 pm (UTC)
Props for spelling ophthalmologist properly.

It's a shame, though. If you became a vampire, you'd join the ranks of such folks as Kiefer Sutherland and Gary Oldman. And I think Salma Hayek was the snake-wearing vampire stripper in From Dusk 'Til Dawn. Now that's a class reunion I wouldn't mind being a part of.
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Date:September 18th, 2007 12:32 pm (UTC)
I'm an English major and a court reporter. Of course I'm going to spell "ophthalmologist" correctly.
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