08:23 am
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Mahtale i Vinya Cotumo Heru: Fighting the New Tyranny
Wow, that subject heading sounds all important and poetic, but what I mean by it is simply that I get bogged down by mundane tasks and never get around to doing what is important in life. The Tyranny of the A (see 3-6-04 entry) has now been replaced by the Tyranny of the Mundane, and the universe seems to conspire against my ever breaking free.
My best friend Marjorie, whom I love and who is always so good to me, tries to help. She very recently gave me a much-needed deadline, telling me that what she wants for Christmas from me is the name of the graduate school I plan to attend. Isn't she wonderful? (She says "evil," but I know it's because she knows me and has my best interest at heart.) She recently called to ask about my progress. I had to tell her the truth: None. I didn't enjoy telling her, but it did spur me into every intention of getting something done.
Then I get one 60-hour workweek and one 50-hour workweek. Yes, I came into the office on Labor Day. I hate having to be a workaholic. I come home with no energy and little desire to eat dinner, wanting to do nothing but veg. Nothing was accomplished those weeks. This (past) week, I had decided, would be one of productivity, especially the weekend. I spent the week running overdue errands so that they wouldn't be in my way during the weekend. I planned to spend Saturday buckling down and finishing my home mundane tasks -- paperwork mostly. (I haven't balanced my checkbook in a while, and I've never seriously looked at my health-insurance information and gotten a doctor and dentist.) Sunday would begin my renewed efforts at grad-school research and writing.
Thursday, driving to Greenville for a late job I didn't want, as it would make me miss my dance lesson, I realized that I was getting sick. Can you tell when you're getting sick? I felt squiggy in my sinuses, and I couldn't relieve the pressure no matter how rudely I sniffed and snorted, a sure sign of trouble to come. Also, my jaw began to ache, a sure sign that I'm getting a fever, the bad, achy kind. (I'm not sure why my jaw starts to ache first, but it does.) I finished the job at 7:00, was back to Raleigh by 8:30, and was sick all night. I couldn't sleep for any longer than an hour at a time before waking up hot and achy and miserable. My fever finally broke at 3:30. I managed to sleep from about 4:14 to 6:45; then I got up and went to work for two and a half hours to top of a 40-hour week. Then I came home, doped up on Tylenol and Sudafed, and spent the day in bed in a stupor.
Need I say "There went my weekend"? I'm no longer comatose or fevered, but I'm too weak to do anything. (I mean anything. I've gone three days without doing Pilates. If that doesn't mean anything to you, you don't know me very well.) I get exhausted loading the dishwasher and washing my sheets. I haven't followed up on any of my intentions to get stuff done, and I still have those horrible piles of paperwork unsorted and un-looked-at. I'll probably be capable of going back to work on Monday, when I'll have more mundane tasks to perform. Is it not a conspiracy? Why should a girl even try?
Okay. I'm not really quite that pessimistic, but it sure felt good to type out those last two sentences.
Of course, most people, in my experience, want their mothers when they're sick. I sure did. In my case, however, it's usually because I want to be babied. I love being babied when I'm sick. I love for someone to wipe my brow and bring me hot soup and cold fizzy drinks, to ask me if I need anything and tell everyone else to be quiet so I can rest. Some people, though, (I can't fathom why) don't like to be babied when sick; they want to be left alone. I would feel abandoned. I was so glad for everyone who sent me little IMs and e-mails to check on me and wish for me to get well, and for ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) firebreatherjen who visited me. Thank you all. Anyway, I was wondering, for a brief LJ poll, when you're sick, do you like to be babied or left alone?
Current Mood:  sick
Tags: sick, tyranny of the mundane, work
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