So Friday I met a very intelligent, attractive man who gazed into my eyes for a half-hour and asked me to meet him again in a few days. Of course, I probably shouldn't read too much into the affair, since he is my ophthalmologist.
It seems I am not becoming a vampire. Rather, my new contact lenses have caused an infection in my cornea, one that should easily clear up. To diagnose the infection, this hunky ophthalmologist put yellow dye on my eyes. I then drove by my old college hoping to run across some former professors with whom to discuss my grad-school plans. It turns out they were in a faculty meeting, so I didn't get the chance to give any of them a creepy yellow-eyed stare and threaten them with the possibility of joining the ranks of the undead.
So maybe I'll just return that waterbed-coffin combo. Such a shame.